| My dad and I went shopping today. It was just like when I was little and we used to go everywhere together. It was so much fun. I love random days like today.
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| word.
turkey = good. almost as good as microwave Friday's buffalo wings.
my dad and my brother and myself are watching Dead Man's Chest at the hotel. its fun. i actually am studying and half listening to the movie, and I should prolly go back now.
for those of you who like to plan things, there is going to be a party over christmas break, I just need to find a place...maybe i can hit up jake for a christmasy bonfire, who knows. lol
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| What is this? two entries in one day? stacey must be bored out of her mind! well, not really, I was just really frustrated with my father and he was here and I needed to vent.
So anyway. I have an appointment at 330 at the health center with the same doctor I saw last week. should be interesting. its rough because there is absolutely nothing they can do but drug me and refer me to other people who will further drug and refer me. I do need to get lunch soon though. I think Im going to go next door because I already went down to tell my supervisor that I cant work tonight.
She was really sweet about it, actually, she just told me to take care of myself and bring back a note if I go to see a doctor. I should bring her cookies or something. I feel physically ill from this pain right now, but I havent eaten yet today and thats not cool...Ive yelled at people for less than that.
The reason the whole weight thing made me angry is because I have been working very hard here at s chool not only to stop eating junk food at home, but also to limit what I eat at the caf -- especially deep fried and dessert wise. And Im doing really well too...i only eat dessert once a day, and I eat my vegetables, and I snack on things like carrots, and wheat thins if I snack at all. Ive lost 25 pounds, according to my moms scale (so give or take 5) since moving in to school at the end of the summer... a good 15 of that is since the last time my dad had the "fat talk" with me. The reason he kind of went off on the weight tangent is that I havent been able to make those habits transfer back home. Here, Im in a completely different environment, food has a cost, and it isnt readily available everytime I feel like I want it. I either have to use up one of my 10 caf meals I get each week, or I have to physically pay money for food. At home, food is there, in the pantry, right in front of me all day long...I pass that cupboard every time I walk up or down the stairs to go to my room, or from my room to the bathroom, or from upstairs to the family room. I know Im addicted to food. and I know I eat to relax and thats unhealthy. But I have made huge progress with day to day life here at school, and Im going to continue to try to implement it home. I know now that I need to address my thinking about food, not just my behaviors, but a start is a start and Im proud of that.
There are some further steps Im going to take here as well. As much as I am angry and frustrated with him, he had some good points, including the fact that losing weight will make my back less of a liability.
Ok, I cant avoid the fact that I have to pee any longer
peace
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| my dad decided to ignore the 15 pounds ive lost this semester, and tell me that im not trying hard enough to lose weight and that the reason I even have back problems is because im too fat. thanks dad...a lot. no hes sitting in my room trying to call the doctor for me again, but i know what he's really thinking. and it pisses me off.
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